Reality bites back

It's human nature to strive, to try, to stretch, to grow.
We pat ourselves on the back for all our accomplishments, small and great.
We beam with pride as we watch the next generation strive, try, stretch, grow.
We look at our struggles and try to learn from them, try to rise above them, try to find meaning, direction, and purpose in them.

And then reality bites back, making you ask -- making me ask, anyway -- WTF?

My mom -- She told me yesterday that she's been having "disturbing symptoms." She feels fine, but she's uncomfortable a lot of the time, has difficulty completing her business, etc. She played it down, but when she said she wished Jane were back from her latest trip abroad, I knew how anxious she really is.

She's "fine" -- she still wants to go places and do things. We had a great getaway to a local art festival. She picks the boys up at school once or twice a week, because she wants to and because she can. She drives herself wherever she wants to go.

But she's "uncomfortable," she doesn't sleep well, she has a deep pain that comes and goes. We can't pretend that she's going to dodge this particular bullet, that she's going to beat the odds.

Damn.

My friend -- Twenty minutes after the conversation with my mom, I started getting frantic text messages from my dear friend S. S is a fellow young widow who is rebuilding her life with the man of her new dreams. She's 8 months pregnant.

And yesterday, her new love, the father of her miracle baby was diagnosed with cancer; and from the little I know, the prognosis is not good. I am heartbroken for S, that barring a miracle -- please, God, please! -- she will have to endure another devastating death; I'm heartbroken for that little baby who will never know Daddy; I'm heartbroken for E, who is losing his life -- please, God, NO! -- at a time of such tremendous hope and promise.

Damn.

We strive, we try, we stretch, we grow. We reach for the future, determined to make it better than the past. Why? Why bother? Someone tell me why.