I was IMing with a college roommate last night. We haven't seen each other in 25 years and have had only minimal contact because our lives took totally different directions. Given the medium, our chat was limited to the big stuff. She knew about Nick's death, of course, and said that she just didn't know what to say, that she had a sense that all the platitudes were just that: platitudes.
I laughed and told her I appreciated her restraint and then regaled her with some of the worst things I've heard, some of the cliches that make me craziest. She was sympathetic; we talked some more, and it was good to reconnect with her after all these years.
At the end of our chat, though, I did tell her that one of the most common platitudes is, in fact, utterly true.
It's better to have loved and lost ...
I think I need to remember that every once in a while, especially when I get fed up with the annoyances and disappointments of daily life: Yes, I would do it all over again.
Another Day
11 hours ago
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6 comments:
It is one of the true ones, I agree. I guess that my perspective comes for a lot of years single before marrying a first time.
There are a lot of things I wouldn't do over again without being granted blissful ignorance of what I know now in advance, but my first marriage is one I would do even if I had to know what was coming.
And, in my opinion, we didn't lose - we have been disappointed and hurt, but we are richer in more ways than not. It's those who never took the chance who have lost something.
Absolutely, without a doubt would I do it all again. In spite of the pain, the complete lack of understanding on the part of the DGI population, and all that goes with widowhood, being married to Reilly is absolutely worth it... and then some.
Me too.
Sandy.
Oh Me Too - unconditional love, given and received. (((Alicia))))
Talked about this very platitude with a friend yesterday who was marking 12 months as a widow.
Ali
Perhaps that's acceptance. I'd do it again, too -- without hesitation -- but if I could skip the day of diagnosis, maybe it would work out differently ...?
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